Basic Dating Do's and Dont's
Tuesday October 28, 2008 at 05:03PM
As we grow older, it always seems to get harder to meet the right person. So much time is spent online these days that people seem to have forgotten how to conduct themselves in a face-to-face dating situation. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you get back in the dating game.
Do
It is natural to concentrate all your energy on pursuing someone when you find them interesting. Instead, you should focus on making yourself interesting to them. That way, you stand out from the crowds of suitors. You want to seem desirable and different.
Try to keep some details of your life to yourself. The goal of doing this is not to deceive, but to give someone a reason to want to spend more time with you. You want your potential partner to find you interesting and to be curious about you. To do that, you need to hold some of your best stories and interesting traits in reserve for a while. Bring them out to really shine in a later date.
Spend time and money taking care of yourself. Even if you don’t find a great relationship, investments you make in yourself stay with you and make you feel better for years to come. Learn something you have always wanted to learn. Find out how to play a game you have always found interesting. Volunteer, join a gym, or go back to school. All of these things not only make you a more interesting date, but they make you a well-rounded person.
Keep an open mind about the people you date. You may want to find someone who is wealthy, intelligent, populate, and beautiful. However, no one is perfect. You may find the person you enjoy being with the most is intelligent, average looking, and in a low-paying but fulfilling job. Don’t let your preconceived notions of the “perfect partner” make you miss your chance for true happiness.
Don't
Don’t just look for people at a club or a bar. People are usually at nightlife hotspots looking for fun, but not usually a serious relationship. Your chance of finding your perfect match in a crowded, noisy, dim, and impersonal place like a club is almost nil. Clubs can be great for finding friends and social connections, but they are not always appropriate for finding dates.
Not everyone you meet is suitable for a long-term relationship. Don’t make the mistake of getting too serious too quickly or trying to pressure people into a relationship. Nobody wants to feel like they are being trapped in their first date. You need to appreciate the freshness of a new relationship and devote time and effort into finding out if they are just right for you.
Don’t try to make your date reveal too much too quickly. Many people would rather keep certain details private until they get to know you better. When they decide they trust you, then they will start to tell you more without you even having to ask. If you pry too quickly, a potential partner may feel threatened.
Don’t hang around and try to continue a relationship if you find out that someone is with another person. This is always an uncomfortable situation to be in, and you don’t want to be caught in it. If the person really likes you, they can seek you out after they are free of their current relationship. If you are looking for a serious relationship, you should not start it as a third-wheel.
Nobody is ever perfect. Don’t make the mistake of looking only for the perfect person. The ideal partner in your head is someone you have made up and may not even exist. You shouldn’t compromise your standards on important things like personality, but you need to be aware that no one you meet with ever be perfect. They always have some flaw.
|
